I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
