dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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