all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
