scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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