Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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