Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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