I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
