Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
