If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
