wat bout pragnant strippers??
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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