well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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