my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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