and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
