Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize