it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I smell stomach acid.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
