Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
4 words: hood of his car
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
