There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
