I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize