the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Come share oat with me in your robe
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
