ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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