i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize