ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
