just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
