i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize