I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
