70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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