I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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