you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I deserve this hangover.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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