I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I am available for nakedness
I pour the whiskey from now on
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
