I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize