Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
