The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
