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okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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