Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
