i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
