he puts the penis in happiness.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize