The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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