i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
