I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
