I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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