i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
