There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
