i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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