Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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