Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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