Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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