Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Found the puke drawer
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
