Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
