Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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