there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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