Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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