apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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