I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
