She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
