Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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