we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
