I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
