help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
