Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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