Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
