Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have fence marks all over my body
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize