So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
