WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
